Warning! Explicit Content! This post might change some.
“No such thing as a life that’s better than yours” – J. Cole from Love Yourz
Well, J. Cole I don’t know. This is not what I’m feeling whenever I open one of my hola-bitches-my-life-is-cooler-than-yours-plus-I-am-having-the-time-of-my-life social media apps.
I mean seriously though, look at them. This kid just bought a Lambo from the money earned from making slime videos on youtube. Also, look at that girl and her super adorable boyfriend working out together. And here, this person is sipping margaritas in Bora Bora on an air mattress while floating on crystal clear water. Over a Million likes. Caption: “enjoy life’s little things.” !@&%$!/!!
Forbes 30 under 30. The most influential people of 2018. Vogue Beauty Awards. First class flights and expansive floral dresses.
All those beautiful people living their beautiful lives in their beautiful clothes sharing beautiful pictures in beautiful places with their beautiful friends eating beautiful food looking simply beautiful.
Meanwhile I am at home looking like a coach potato while eating my potatoes on a coach.
And you are telling me there is no such thing as a life better than yours?
We Show What We Want Them to See
I always thought its kind of funny how in certain TV shows everyone is always super skinny, yet you never see a single person working out. On the contrary, most of the time they eat chocolate pancakes with maple syrup or burgers and chili cheese fries. Hello? How can you look like this while crushing 2000 kcal meals? 3x a day?
I guess thats the thing with TV shows and social media. We never see the whole picture. We see what they want us to see to the same extent that we show what we want them (others) to see.
Let’s be honest, we only post the pictures in which we look sufficient and our lives greater than great. And before we even look at the Grand Canyon we take a picture of the Grand Canyon. With us in it. Facing the camera and public parking spaces while we give our best to look the bestest. In your face Grand Canyon. Nothing more important than letting people know we are here by sharing a pic or two. So forgive our ignorance.
The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side
Discovering that we don’t measure up, that we don’t live up to our potentials or that we are not good enough and everyone always better has become incredibly accessible through social media. It’s a breeding ground for feeling less.
We can’t seem to stop comparing. We look at others and the only thing we see is green grass everywhere. And our side? Looking pretty brownish, a little dry here and there.
We are so easily blended, aren’t we? By superficiality. We envy others and feel sorry for ourselves. We are so obsessed with the green grass on the other side that we neglect our own and wonder why ours isn’t in a better condition. As if grass just turns green for no reason. As if others have miraculously been given green grass.
Maybe we are all just a little too entitled to acknowledge that it takes effort to cultivate a garden. And maybe a little too lazy to do that for our own.
If you don’t feel this way, that’s fine of course. These are just my thoughts I am sharing.
We find excuses for why we can’t turn our grass green. “Well, see its not raining. It’s probably raining plenty on the other side. That’s life. It’s just not fair.” Poor little baby in a victim mentality.
Ever heard of a watering pot? Grass seeds? Or a garden hose? (Actually no, had to look up the English terms lol)
Plus, how are we supposed to know what’s truly going on on the other side? Sometimes what looks glossy on the outside looks very different from the inside. It’s very probably that your other side also has an other side and that they don’t see their grass as green as you see theirs. They are probably as occupied as you with chasing the next thing and the next and fail to see what’s already in front of their eyes.
The Grass is Green When you Water it
For a long time I had <<my grass is always green>> on my Instagram page. That came from a video in which a guy said that he decided to regard his grass as always being green. I liked that because he simply decided to see his grass that way. So, in other words, he took ownership of his side and his perspectives. Instead of believing in scarcity he decided to believe in abundance and in his own grass.
Perhaps it’s as simple as this: stop comparing your side to others by stopping to compare your side to others. Stay on your side and focus on what you can change there. And the factors you can control. Dismantle the ugly envy and self-pity inside of you..
If we want to change anything in our lives, that change has to come from within. With our realization that we are responsible for our side and for the quality of our grass. It’s up to us to take care of it. To water it, to cultivate it and to grow a garden from it.
I guess what J. Cole is trying to say is that there will always be people with more and with adjectives ending in -re attached to them. More of this, more of that, more sophisticated, bett-er, nic-er, pretti-er, smart-er…
“Always gon’ be a bigger house somewhere, but nigga feel me
‘Long as the people in that motherfucker love you dearly
Always gon’ be a whip that’s better than the the one you got
Always gon’ be some clothes that’s fresher than the one’s you rock
Always gon’ be a bitch that’s badder out there on the tours
But you ain’t never gon’ be happy till you love yours”
Having this or being that is no life insurance for happiness and contentment. Loving yourself and loving your life has more potential to be one. So we should probably start there. With ourselves.
I once read that to find contentment in life is to find joy in washing dishes. That peace lies in the ordinary, the simple things that exist in life (with that I am not referring to margaritas in Bora Bora, just fyi). So have a freaking party while washing dishes! And make sure to share this on Insta.
Stay on your side, water and cultivate your grass, put in the effort, don’t wait for rain to come. Sometimes it’s okay to wait for rain to come, not always, only sometimes. We don’t want our lives to be left to chance, not always, only sometimes. Take it in your own hands and make the best of it. Create your own conditions. Be happy for others and their green grass, be compassionate for we don’t know whats really under the surface.
Stop depreciating your own life, your own grass, start appreciating it. Acknowledge that there is no green grass without effort and focus.
There is no such thing as a life better than yours.
Love Yourz! xx
Thank you for reading